DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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