Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
