spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
