Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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