Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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