She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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