Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
