I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
