He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
