All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
