Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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