KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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