hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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