I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
