We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
