why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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