Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
