This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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