Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
