Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Randomize
