Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
