just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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