she kept yelling 'call me bella'
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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