What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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