My sheets look like a crime scene.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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