i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize