She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
