I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
