dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
