A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
