Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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