all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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