have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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