I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
