I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
