the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
