Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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