p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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