My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
There r osticjed everywhere
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize