I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
