Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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