All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
