nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
