I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
