And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
