There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
