I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
