Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
