he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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