I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
