What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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