I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
