no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
