My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
