Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I am full of burrito and curiosity
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
