Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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