Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
